Tuesday, 4 September 2012

the non-start

Hello all,

Well, as you can guess from the title I'm probably in a funk. A funk doesn't quite sum it well enough ;)

I've had a torrid time with my doctor changing my medication due to a higher level of anxiety. Because of this, I've had horrible side effects - truly terrible, I've never had a reaction to medication before and I hope I never do again! I'm still in the throws of it - it's strange - it feels as if my entire brain is detached from my body and I'm sort of co-existing with it. The other draw-back of the medication is it makes you want to eat the entire house, which sort of fucks up a diet somewhat.

I spoke to my doctor regarding the tablets and doing slim and save and he was all for me doing the plan - AFTER the side effects had worn off. He said ketosis and side effects would probably launch me into a deeper funk and I tend to agree. I've been intolerable these last few days and I don't think it would be fair on anyone to be like that.

Unfortunately that means I've stopped doing S&S (temporarily) - I'm annoyed as I still keeping abreast with other peoples' challenges and success and still stuck here like a whale. For some reason one of the major bugbears with me at the moment is my weight (rightly) and was compounded by trying on some clothes in Cambridge on Sunday and not fitting into a 24...which adequately sums it up. Everybody that was either fat is now not fat or the people that were fat are becoming less fat and I'm here still fat. It'll be nice to have that level of confidence I had back again.

I also bought the Beck book about retraining though processes regarding food, and as I'm at my Mum's whilst the landlord rips apart the flat, with not a lot to do apart from eat and veg (although there are some fabulous walks, and I REALLY should make the most of this) I will attempt to read it.

So, for now, over and out.


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